The city in which I live is not a bad place, its not far away from everywhere else, its got a variety of shops and a vibrant music scene. Anyone who visits it would love it, yet I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble.
Its hard to describe exactly what life islike here, and to be honest I have nothing particular to complain about. I used to think that it was just my perception that needed to change in order for me to start enjoying life here properly, but it has become clear that whilst I have enjoyey my life here so far, it has an expiration date. People who stay here beyond their mid twenties all have the same symtoms. They all loose their abilty to see beyond the borders of the city, dreams become their master, thought becomes their aim, and as I discovered recently most of them are on anti-depressants. This doesn't surprise me. Its almost like the city begins to eat away at their souls and they become nothing but part of a herd. They fool themselves into thinking they are on top of the game, and that they like their lives, but its clearly evident that they use alcohol, drugs and each other to ignore this fact.
They all create drama from nothing because they are so bored with their miserable lifes that they are desperate for the slightest bit of purpose, and they are unable to see this. Every weekend they go out and over indulge themselves with alcohol and illegal substances in an attempt to escape the realization that they lead non existent lifes, does that make any sense?
My greatest fear? That I will loose this ability of vision and become nothing but part of the herd. Already I have found myself dragged into this dramas which they create and desperate to escape it, I feel myself being pulled in. They aren't even aware of how pathetic they all are, and I feel isolated being the only one who can see this, I can't be the only one, can I?
