Alcoholics are advised to remove themselves from their current lifestyle when trying to break free from their addiction. When drug addicts try to get clean they must similarly remove themselves from their usual environment in which temptation surrounds them. This got me thinking, how then, does someone addicted to 'love' (or in my case falling for someone) escape this dangerously tempting environment when I have to visit this place every day?
Working with Petrelli has been postive in many ways, we've been able to get to know each other on a friend basis so its been much more cofortable than those awkward first few dates but on the otherhand always seeing each other doesn't give him the chance to miss me. Perhaps I'm getting too ahead of myself here, but I'd like to think I'm learning from past mistakes. The other day I hard the lyric 'if you never learn to read what the signs say, how do you know you're going the right way?'. And whilst I was looking at old photos of work nights out, and I saw a girl who used to work there that Petrelli had slept with previous to me, warning signs screamed at me 'He's a player, don't believe him'. Just one thing, he seems genuine, and there is something between us. I'm not sure whether I trust my instincts anymore, I thought I was safe with colin, thats things would go well and he would never hurt me, and he caused me more hurt than I ever imagined possible.
Everywhere I look, the signs are there, 'nine times out of ten times friends with benefits won't go any futher'. I was fine at first, but maybe I should stop now, before I get any deeper and he doens't know and I get end up getting hurt. Or should I tell him how I feel? You see, to me there isn't much of a difference between my addiction with love, and adiction to drugs or alcohol. I know what I'm doing is hurting me, but I can't stop now, I've had some already and with every drop I get I want more.
Should I continue down this road in the hope that the desination will be different from last time? Or sill I just find myself at the same dead end? Any suggestions welcome!
Scientology
Beware, familiarity breeds contempt, on that I am almost certain.
However, I am also certain that some of the best journeys I have ever embarked upon have been made all the better by blatantly disregaurding the road signs.
I suppose a journey in-itself can seem piecemeal, you traverse a distance between some A and some B, A being your origin and B your destination, upon arrival at your destination you consider the journey, whether it was eventful or not, complete.
However, if you begin at A but have no idea towards which B you are going then, ultimatley, you can at least shed off the feeling that the journey is piecemeal and look upon it as a perpetual adventure.
The trick being a blatant disreguard for the "road signs" but also for any destination B you may or may not desire to reach, go with the flow.
Failing this you could do what men have done for centuries substitute this addiction for another, drinking? probably, gambling? only foolishly... Drugs? never ever.