At the age of 18 I already feel tired of this cycle of 'meet someone - get to know them - sleep with them'. Does this mean I'm truely read for a serious relationship? Or does it mean the opposite? I've never been very good with relatioships, and although I'm not blaming myself entirely for their failure, I've come to realise that my paranoia slowly rears its ugly head and silently destroys anys security I had with that person. 'Does he still like me?? - why is he sitting so far away from me? - why is he taking so long to reply to my text?'.
I've been told I think too much, I analyse things over and over in my head, and I know this, yet I can't seem to stop it. Is it even possible to just stop thinking about things? Thinking is dangerous, its kind of like cooking, except I don't put in all the right ingredients, and I chuck in a few thigns I shouldn't - the end result isn't always going to taste nice.
I'm exhausted of repeating this process, and although I'm over colin I still feel numb from the whole situation. At the same time I feel like if I stay away from 'boy world' for too long, it won't do me any good either. I like petrelli, and he likes me, but is it a friends with benfits thing? Or something else? Maybe its time I confronted him? Going on with this thign we have could potenially cause me hurt unless I'm honest with him, but changing it now could cause an end to something before its really started. My mind is like a never ending maze, and perhaps its time to give up and just fly out of it.
