It feels like forever and a day since I wrote here, I guess I didn't need to. I like writing how I'm feeling because it helps get thoughts out in a healthy way, and somehow makes them easier to understand. I'm writting here now because I want to, not because I need to, and I'm so happy. I know these words sound simple, but it is simple. Right now, in this moment everything is right with the world, and these are the moments that make life worth living.

I haven't won the lottery, I haven't been discovered by a big record company and signed a million dollar record deal, I just have nothing to complain about. College is going really well, I'm studying and seeing results, my sister and her boyfriend have moved out and there is now a feeling of peace at home, but most of all, I've met a boy who makes everything seem perfect.

Ifound the courage to ask THAT question, 'what are we?', and at first was dissappointed by the answer, 'can i be honest with you? i don't really want a relationship right now, i'm not ready, but i want to see you, only you and maybe one day'. I lay there beside him thinking two words 'not again'. But as I thought about it, and we talked more abaout it, I realized this was the perfect answer. I always rush into things, and relationships with disasterous results, and perhaps taking things slowly meant we could really get to know each toher and become something. I didn't want to get married or anything, I wasn't expecting him to suddenly say 'oh lets be in a relationship now', i guess I didn't know what I wanted, and its hard to know the answers if you don't really understand the question.

Its been afew weeksn since then, and we've just enjoyed each others company, and are getting to know each other properly. We have thunder and it hasn't died and is showing no signs of dying. Maybe sometimes the journey should be enjoyed not rushed, otherwise you migt miss the view. Our bond has tightened, I feel completly comfortable around him, which I rarely feel with anyone, even close friends. We talk about everything without fear of being judged or it going any further. Its no longer a ball game, with the ball going back and fourth into each other courts, we both tell each other how we feel, not only through words but through actions. Its like before anything happens, we're become best friends, and I love it.

Sometimes it drives me crazy how much I like him, but the crazyness wakes me up, and I think I'm just going to enjoy the ride without worrying about where we're landing.